Its taken such a long time for me to have any interests in anything at all. Depression has been a cruel task master and over the past two and a half years I haven’t been interested in much, besides my own family, eating, sleeping, seeing my friends and basic survival. I saw a post on social media yesterday about a young girl who was so depressed that she couldn’t even brush her own hair. I get it. I so get it. Looking after yourself when you feel so wretched is really difficult. I find my hair to be a source of unhappiness, it used to be so beautiful but after years of ‘that will do’ it’s not looking it’s best that is for sure. I had a bit of a snow white look going on, but that has past me and now I’m trying to decide if I should go natural which is much lighter than my favourite black. I’ve had times where my sister has straightened my hair for me so that I feel so much better and it really truly worked. I wonder how many of you may agree with me that having a friend do your hair would make you feel so much better.
So do you find that you have lost all interest in your previous interests? I used to love watching television but find it really difficult to sit and concentrate for very long, I used to love baking and even had my own little cupcake business for a time but depression has robbed me of that passion also. I volunteered at my daughter’s school canteen last year because my Social worker/Counsellor said that if I didn’t she would schedule something for my time. Words to inspire me to action. I truly enjoyed the canteen work but this year I wanted to try to take part in activities that inspire me and so that I can try to ENJOY my life, not just survive. I have just survived for way too long. I bet you know exactly what I mean. So that is where the watercolours and sewing have come into my life. I never expected to feel so inspired. Watercolours have just relaxed me so much, I find it so peaceful and carefree. When I paint, I forget that I have depression and THAT is a good thing. When I paint I am just me. My paintings are surprisingly optimistic and I like that. It’s like something that depression can not ruin. I wonder if you have any activity that you embrace and feel so relaxed with. For some it may be yoga, mindfulness, drawing, shopping (the best therapy lol!) or maybe something else. I’d love to hear from you to see if you have a passion that helps you or a friend with depression. Thankyou for reading!! Tam xx