Hey everyone! How’s life treating you? I sincerely hope that you are all well. I’ve been really well lately and had a real sense of contentment and wellbeing. I have to say that I have achieved this through my newfound love of painting/dabbling in Watercolours and a passion for calligraphy. My schedule has also been pretty full. This means I’ve really been enjoying life to the max. Well that was up until yesterday…..
I woke up feeling on edge and quite moody. I really don’t like the days when I have to visit my psychiatrist. He’s a nice enough guy, I just don’t like the reminder that I’m actually in need of one!! So my appointment came and went but this time we discussed my diagnosis. I immediately began to cry, I just don’t believe it, I said. He gently began to explain why. I left feeling terrible and my quest for truth began on the internet……
On Instagram I posted that I was finding it hard to accept, people posted that I’d feel better about it in a week so I’m waiting for that time to pass and looking for any indication that my feelings are beginning to change. I read a good article on WebMd that gave me more understanding and I’m starting to wonder if the medication I loathe taking so much has actually given me stability in my life to prevent any relapses.
I just feel so strongly that if I accept this label, then I’m losing my own self identity and any hope for the future. I’m more than a diagnosis, I am me. Me with a hope and a future, not this individual with limited potential. I always felt I had unlimited potential……. I’m not going to let a medical diagnosis take that away from me.